[PROBLEMCHYLD]

I want you guys honest opinion. I want everything to be authentic because I'm not a fraud. If you like it, fine and if you don't fuck you. Just kidding, but be honest, I want honest feedback. It doesn't have the most professional sound because I'm not a professional. I think it sounds ok for me being a rookie. Listen to the lyrics.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSeJXYSSMSA


UPDATE, new URL:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aA1Ac5vktjQ

[!]

Wait a minute, what do you mean? Did YOU make this (singing+lyrics)?!

[PROBLEMCHYLD]

Yes. I have been writing music since the age of 12. I don't consider myself a rapper but a music composer/artist. I can write a song about anything, I am very creative, just look at the SP. I used the Bears logo because I'm a chicago native.
I want to put out good, unique and creative songs.

[!]

You are almost a pro man! :P

Here is what me and a friend think of it:
(I removed his name)

18:15 - "!": haha cool, one of the members made this: http://www.foolsdesign.org/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=119
18:15 - "!": (I think)
18:18 - ***: damn
18:18 - ***: its sounds like well new radio rap
18:18 - ***: but in good performance
18:18 - ***: beat is like i make it for cash but i dont quite listen lyrics
18:18 - "!": I think it needs more "bass" u know, donk donk
18:18 - ***: but its quite pleasure
18:18 - "!": yeah, it has a nice flow
18:19 - "!": My second round listening to it now.
18:19 - "!": _:D
18:19 - ***: hehe
18:19 - ***: im not quite in rap
18:19 - "!": Same here but I like some tunes from time to time. This is certainly one of them. ^^
18:19 - "!": I like it when they have a nice flow.
18:20 - "!": ...and techno/trance in background. :P

I think as I mentioned to my friend, it has a nice flow. I would like to hear more donk donk "bass" in it, a bit like this one at 01:50:



It would give it more power imho.

Um, and well, I would like to hear more than one voice in it. Perhaps your own voice distorted into high pitch or very low Devil pitch, low volume in background. It would fill it up a bit more. A little like when you do at 01:29 but like in the background low volume from time to time (not too often) while you sing the main.

As for my background in music, I did play violin for 6 years and listen heavily to Classical, Hard Rock and from time to time good oldschool Hip-hop / Pop.

I like your voice a lot, not in a gay way. You got a strong heavy voice which doesn't sound bitchy like Eminem or Lil-Wayne. You are more close to Rick Ross which in my opinion has a nice heavy voice. On second thought, I actually think your voice seem heavier than RR.



Again, I especially like how your tune flows without breakage (if that makes any sense) like flowing in water. Very smooth and nice.

As I write this, it'll be my 4th round listening to this tune. I do NOT repeat crap tunes more than once so you tune is excellent! :D

[I, user.]

I was expecting something crappy. This is not crappy.

[PROBLEMCHYLD]

Thanks, I'm not big on the new rap these days. I listen to a lot of oldies, Bee Gees, Stevie Wonders, Hall and Oates, Andy Gibb, Bob James (great jazz) Steely Dan, hart to hart, o jays, etc..... I love oldies. Thanks for you support. I was thinking adding a little rock mix to it. I love the Imagine Dragons Radioactive. Being a artist you have to keep a open mind about music. Anything that sounds good I will listen to it.

[``-_-´´]

You are welcome.

pns.png (54.7 KiB) Viewed 9373 times

[PROBLEMCHYLD]

Thanks guys Here's the lyrics

Code: Select all

Touchdown

Let me see you touchdown 
just like the superbowl
players sack that quarterback 
catch her for she make that goal 
ladies intercept 
you gotta shake it right but take it left 
when its time to kick it off
we gone show yall who the best

Coin toss heads or tails 
(what you want) give me head
got this rookie women 
looking bad from her chest 2 legs
put in my mouth piece
teach her the game
donÔÇÖt come off your sides
unless you think you can hang 
come out my huddle I'm plugged
first and ten on the line up 
throw a pass with them digits
so can you make this come up 
you got that whistle for pass interference
one of your girls hatin
you should send her 2 the bench
and bring in one of them deal breakers
down near the goal with the ball in
my possession
are you ready 2 forfeit 
aint no fumble i miss it 
we still gone bail out and kick it
cuz my offense is not from the books
but educated
know that if i get stuck in a jam
it aint no safety 
makin paper with players who run it
one end 2 another
be the keepers and watching my back
stay on my hustle
heard the story no guts then no glory 
you might be gorgeous 
comin out on the top like a winner
we be victorious notorious

V2
Shot gun watch it blast 
got you posted by the half
damn you got a lot of ass
but still canÔÇÖt get a player pass
unless you bad and bounce it fast 
bring the fellas competition
universal on the field
in and out straight up the middle
show these ladys we da bizness
aint no chance in this division
lock the target hit it hard
put her in a new position
let me score so now you hurtin
might as well just call it curtains 
i can kick it long but iÔÇÖm on 
getting this 2 point conversion 
time out we up yall down 
ball in play make me proud
on bended knees got you down
hear the crowd cheerin loud 
thick with hips so itÔÇÖs blitz 
no way out it got you clipped
if you miss it then you hit
where we from we call it kissed
runnin like i wasn't gone catch ya
took the ruler start 2 measure
gave you what you wanted
on the stretcher with your pain and pleasure
you can play the wide receiver 
canÔÇÖt defeat me if you cheated
tryin 2 sak a dime going deep 
tighten up your cleats or beat it

V3
Last quarter hit the border
running backs iÔÇÖm comin for you
out of bounds you in my town 
whistle blown two minute warning
act like you didnÔÇÖt get your warning 
you was wanted had a warrant 
you was caught
so the penalty steady got me scoring
feel a interception 
cuz you bounce it well in my direction 
got protection for this vet
ref canÔÇÖt stop this lethal weapon
flippin out she turnin tricks 
teach her how 2 handle this 
chicago be the team iÔÇÖm 
puttin first string on the injured list
accept the play or get declined
straight 2 the point donÔÇÖt waste no time
got her on my defense wonÔÇÖt get off
becuz she lovin mine 
who the next 2 step in line
hit you from the blind side
hike and then we go getÔÇÖem lets
touchÔÇÖem down one at a time 
my style unique its one of a kind
the game is mine kiss it goodbye
bring it 2 me live if i thought wrong 
then help me change my mind 
the game aint over til its over 
rushin til its nothing left
canÔÇÖt do it by yourself call up your help 
and askÔÇÖem who got next

[PROBLEMCHYLD]

I really love how you guys embrace me. Heres something funny, I PM a few members on msfn and asked them to check it out. Would you believe only one person actually checked it out, even though it wasn't his type of music. That is what you call support. I'm aware that it is not everyone's cup of tea, but damn, you don't even have to listen to it just play it and put it on mute. People act like I asked for a million dollars.

[!]

I always say, quality is better than quantity. MSFN might have huge number of members but generally speaking, not many are quality users... but yeah, 90% of people are usually assholes. Hehe